NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS NOT TO MAKE
||CHRIST'S HANDS ACROSS THE INTERNET|
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- I will quit smoking... at least 20 times a day.
- I will read my Bible every day... as soon as all the denominations decide which one is translated correctly.
- I will learn Hebrew and Greek... in the next six months.
- I will give 10% of my income to God's service... as soon as Ed McMahon shows up with my check.
- I will love my neighbor... when they stop their dog from barking.
- I will start getting involved in local fellowship... as soon as I find the perfect church.
- I will lose weight using the Evangelical diet.... two potlucks a week! (Bring on the fried chicken.)
- I will stop attending movies with questionable content... unless the theater is two suburbs away from my church.
- I will always dress appropriately in public... using the Mardi Gras in Rio as a model.
- I will follow the shining example exhibited by the mature, honest, compassionate leadership... of the American President.
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