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THE NEW HYMNAL



YES! THE NEW NATIONAL COUNCIL OF CHURCHS AND ACLU HYMNAL IS ON THE STANDS!! EVERY ONE SEEMS TO HAVE MADE A CONTRIBUTION. HERE ARE A FEW OF THE NEW HYMNS BELOW. BE SURE TO RUSH OUT AND BUY A COPY... NOT!


    • Angels We Have Heard While High (Americans For the Legalization of Marijunana)
      Sung to "Angels We Have Heard On High"

    • Bend The Light (President Bill Clinton)
      Sung to "Send The Light"

    • God Our Father, We Ignore Thee (US Supreme Court)
      Sung to "God Our Father, We Adore Thee"

    • O Worship the Ring (The Vatican)
      Sung to "O Worship the King"

    • Great Is Thy Fateful Breathe (American Kennel Association)
      Sung to "Great Is Thy Faithfulness"

    • Be Thou My Fission (Atomic Energy Commission)
      Sung to "Be Thou My Vision"

    • We Would Be Jesus (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)
      Sung to "We Would See Jesus"

    • Haze Him, Haze Him! (National Association of Fraternities)
      Sung to "Praise Him, Praise Him"

    • Count Your Dressings (ASPCA & Vegans)
      Sung to "Count Your Blessings"

    • So Let Our Hips and Thighs Grow Less (Weight Watchers)
      Sung to "So Let Our Lips and Lives Express"

    • Teach Me To Pay (Christian Broadcasting Network)
      Sung to "Teach Me To Pray"

    • Have Mine Own Way, Lord (ACLU)
      Sung to "Have Thine Own Way, Lord"

    • We Blather Together (Jesus Seminar)
      Sung to "We Gather Together"

    • Amazing Lace (Victoria Secret's)
      Sung to "Amazing Grace"

    • O Bums, All Ye Faithful (American Atheists Union)
      Sung to, "O Come, All Ye Faithful"


SEND ALL HATE MAIL TO: SPAM@CHAIN.ORG .. ha ha


(EDITORS NOTE: THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT MEANT TO OFFEND BUT RATHER TO MAKE ONE THINK AND HOPEFULLY TO MAKE SURE ONE'S FOCUS IS NOT ON OBJECTS OR PHONY MORAL POSTURING BUT ON JESUS. IN THIS WORLD OF CHANGING AND FAILING MORALITY AND SELFISHNESS THE SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS AND LUKEWARM DENOMINATIONS ARE FORCEFULLY PUSHING THEIR AGENDAS. **ALL REFERENCES ARE FICTITIOUS.**)


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