CHRIST'S HANDS ACROSS THE INTERNET Where christians come to share, pray and study. SOME OXYMORONS TO PONDER SENT BY EMAIL - AUTHOR UNKNOWN Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'? Does that screwdriver really belong to Philip? Does killing time damage eternity? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Are part-time band leaders semiconductors? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? Day light savings time-why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? Do pilots take crash courses? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? How can there be self-help "groups"? How do you get off a nonstop flight? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How many weeks are there in a light year? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?" If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear ear muffs? If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them? If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of? If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? ALL MATERIAL IS PROPERTY OF CHAIN UNLESS OTHERWISE CREDITED AND NOT TO BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION Back to the Top