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LIGHTNING BOLTS


ETIQUETTE FOR BOLTING FROM IRC

Nobody likes it, but most everyone does it from time to time . . . exits the channel with a perfunctory or nonexistent goodbye that leaves fellow chatters wondering if they said something wrong. Of course we all know life is full of little surprises, so I have compiled the following:

Good Reasons for Bolting

  1. You glance out the window just in time to catch a glimpse of flailing arms and legs rushing past. Next time your spouse agrees to paint the house, it would probably be a good idea to get offline and hold the ladder.
  2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/roommate returns your car keys and instead of saying, "Thanks," they ask if you remembered to mail your insurance payment this month . . .
  3. Your neighbor's house is on fire and you need to get offline to call 911.
  4. Your own house is on fire and you need to develop a family evacuation plan. Fast!
  5. Lightning bolts are a good reason for lightning bolts. Modems don't grow on trees, you know.
  6. The police are at your door and the person sitting in the back of their cruiser in the driveway is a blood relative.
  7. Pet care: the dog has that winsome pleading look in his eyes and you notice he has his legs crossed; the cat is using your shin for a scratching post and blood loss is a real concern; your sugar glider just gnawed through your computer cable; the wolf is no longer responding to, "Nice doggie"; your boa is getting so friendly you can no longer breathe; or the dust bunnies have raised an army and achieved a domestic coup.
  8. You have to throw up. Keyboards are really hard to clean.
  9. Your mother/spouse's mother just called and said she's tired of waiting for you to get the house fixed up enough to invite her over and she'll be there in twenty minutes.
  10. God wants to talk to you. Right now!
Bad Reasons for Bolting

  • I think people are ignoring me
  • no one said hello
  • no one likes me
  • they probably don't want me around anyway
  • nobody appreciates me
  • this topic is stupid
  • nobody even asked me how I was
  • no one picked up my hints
  • why can't they see I'm hurting
  • they can't possibly understand
  • I'll show them
  • I'll tell them off-cause them to worry
  • say something scary-make them feel guilty-they won't care anyway
"Poof" You disappear.

Will people feel bad? Probably. Will it make you feel better? Probably not.

Next time you feel needy, message someone and tell him or her you want to talk. They will probably remember when they were in a similar situation and tell you how they got through it. They might understand how you feel. They could remind you how much God loves you and offer to pray for you. You may feel His presence in their caring. and Bonus ---- the person you message will feel needed and appreciated!


HUMOR BY LILANDRIA - NO USE GRANTED WITHOUT PERMISSION. EMAIL: editor@chain.org FOR PERMISSION

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